Funny Quotes 2013: Sarcastic Funny Quotes

Sarcastic Funny Quotes Definition

Source(google.com.pk)
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
If you don't do anything stupid when you're young, you won't remember something funny when you're old...
I know I should respect your choice, but I'm finding it hard not to think you're being an idiot.
You must be a special kind of stupid to think acting like a jerk is attractive to girls.
A group of idiots led by a wise man can defeat a group of wise people led by an idiot.
Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours.
There are two things eternal. Human stupidity and the universe. And I'm not even sure about the universe
I may not know everything, and I have never pretended I do, but please don't treat me like I'm stupid it's very insulting.
I wouldn't have to manage my anger if only people could learn how to manage their stupidity.
Common sense is not a gift,it is a punishment,because,we have to deal with every one, who does not have it.
Ignorance can be educated. Crazy can be medicated... But there is no cure for stupid.
I've finally figured it out... No, you're not stupid, you just have an extremely poor understanding of people and this thing called feelings.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.
A clever wife often sleeps with a stupid husband.
You can't argue with stupidity.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Does anyone know the number to 911?
The word swag is soo stupid. Swag is just a way for a man, to call another man sexy, and not feel gay about it.
I feel so proud of myself, see I bought a Rubik cube and finished it in 6 months while the box said 3-4 years...
The definition of being stupid: seeing the truth, knowing the truth, and choosing to still believe the lies.
Smart phones, smart cars, smart televisions... when are they going to start making smart people?
Staying with someone that doesn't appreciate you isn't loyalty...it's stupidity...
Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.
Life is hard, but it's harder if you're stupid.
The strawberry shampoo doesnt taste as good as it smells.
I've seen a lot of girls who are stuck with a guy they love but all I can say is don't let love be an excuse to be in a shitty relationship...
Arrogance is the art to be proud on his own stupidity.
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
I hate when girls act dumb because they think it's cute.
If You Don't Want A SARCASTIC Answer, Don't Ask A STUPID Question...
Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
Haters really dont have their own lifes actually. Why? Because they are so focused to live in yours.
On internet you can be anything you want, its strange that so many people choose to be stupid...
The only victories which leave no regret are those which are gained over ignorance.Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- Ashleigh Brilliant

» It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
- Paul Newman

» I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
- Stephen Bishop

» History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

» No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
» I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
» I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
» I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
» I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
- Groucho Marx

» The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
- Frank Zappa

» The 100% American is 99% idiot.
» The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
- George Bernard Shaw

» He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
» Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
- Oscar Wilde

» He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
- Victor Borge

» I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
» Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.
» Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
» Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself..
- Mark Twain

» I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow

» If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
- Charles Pierce

» You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen

» A modest little person, with much to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

» He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

» Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

» He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln

» He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
- Irvin S. Cobb

» He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
- Forrest Tucker

» He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
- Billy Wilder

» The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually becomes a cat.
- Ogden Nash

» I wish we were better strangers.
» I'll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.
- Unknown

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
- Woody Allen

» I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. - Ludwig Wittgenstein

» Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions. –
Frank Lloyd Wright

» We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. - Vince Lombardi

» A narcissist is someone better looking than you are. - Gore Vidal

» When ideas fail, words come in very handy. - Goethe