Funny Quotes 2013: Funny Sayings And Quotes

Funny Sayings And Quotes Definition

Source (google.com.pk)
Since love has been the topic of countless articles, books, discussions, and sleepless nights, I might as well explain how I got interested. I have long been addicted to popular songs, especially love songs. They play in my head, usually uninvited, and often at odd hours. Some of them show up from out of a dim past, so I am frequently searching for lyrics to fill gaps in my memory.
Several years ago in the course of looking for a lyric, perhaps the one quoted above, I happened upon an extraordinary website called Lyrics World (now defunct). What was unusual about this site was that it contained the Top Forty popular songs for the last 70 years (1930-2000), over ten thousand lyrics. As I began to read lyrics of love songs at random, it seemed to me that the majority of them fell into only three patterns: infatuation, requited love, and heartbreak. There were also romance lyrics which didn’t fit, but in any given year, they were never in the majority.
The study I later did (Chapter 5) confirmed: about a quarter of all pop songs in the Top 40, year after year, are about heartbreak, about a tenth, about infatuation, and about a tenth, about requited love. Another fourth involves miscellaneous kinds of romance, and a little more than a fourth are not about love or romance.
But in reading these lyrics, a new question arose. It seemed to me that none of these three forms, often not even requited love, suggested genuine love. However, in order to state this idea with confidence, I would have to find out, at least to my own satisfaction, what I mean by genuine love. At least in English, the one word covers so many different things as to be almost meaningless. Of all the emotion words, I think that love may be the broadest and the most vague and pliable. The pliability of this word results in many problems, both in scholarship and in real life.
For this reason I propose a concept of love that is bio-social-psychological: genuine love, in its non-erotic form, has a physical basis in attachment, and a social psychological basis in attunement (shared awareness and identity). Romantic love involves a second physical basis: (sexual) attraction. Each of these forms in itself can involve very intense feelings. Combinations of two or three forms can lead to overwhelming feelings. Non-erotic love is intense because it conjoins attachment emotions and genuine pride. The added experience of sexual desire in erotic love means a powerful confluence of three feelings, each intense alone.
These three affects and their various combinations form different types of what is called “love.” According to the new definition, only four of these are genuine love; mutual and one-way non-erotic love, and mutual and one-way erotic love. The other single affects and their combinations are look-alikes that would be better understood as different kinds of psuedo-love. One of the central themes of this book is the many kinds of psuedo-love may function to cover up the intense pain of separation in modern societies. This seems to be a new idea; I know of no earlier formulation of this proposal.
I begin with vernacular meanings of love. If love is defined so broadly in modern societies as to be virtually meaningless, how can we rescue its meaning? This book seeks a conceptual definition, one that ultimately might be helpful not only in scholarly research, but also in real life.
Investigating the emotional/relational world is a deeply subversive activity. As the study proceeds, it should be clear that it challenges many of the assumptions that are taken for granted in everyday life. As we go about our daily activities, we have neither the interest nor the resources to investigate the thousand of assumptions that we make, and to a large extent, share with other members of our society, about ourselves and the world. Just getting our activities completed is usually quite enough of a challenge.
Only eccentrics, artists or scientists have the time and inclination to challenge everyday assumptions. Erving Goffman’s work seems to partake of all three of these worlds: eccentricity, art and science. One of the most common criticisms of his writing is that it is bitter, cynical, or sour. The charges, for the most part, arise out of his challenge to our taken-for-granted assumptions. Any objective investigation of the emotional/relational world is sure to challenge major institutions; not only the political and economic ones, but also those dealing with family, education, and religion. This book may pose such a challenge.
This chapter spells out a concept of love that distinguishes between genuine love and its look-alikes. For example, pop songs that are about heartbreak virtually always suggest lost attachment. Many, however, in attempting to explain the break-up, also suggest lack of attunement. Lyrics that center on infatuation, on the other hand, usually suggest either attachment or sexual attraction, or both, but rarely refer to attunement in any way. Pop songs about romance always invoke at least one of the three a’s. Some invoke two, but rarely all three. Genuine love, in the sense it is defined here, is seldom found in pop love lyrics. Like current usage, these songs define love only vaguely, and very broadly.
One of the central ideas in this book is the massive individualism that is taken for granted in Western societies. Our “commonsense,” the shared understandings we have in these societies, tells us that individuals are good, they are connected to freedom, and relationships are bad, they are associated with restraint. A less celebrated set of assumptions concerns which emotions are good and which are bad. The road to success is always under construction.
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Death is hereditary.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
I stopped fighting my inner demons, were on the same side now.
Well-behaved women rarely make history
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong
He who laughs last, didn't get it.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before police.
"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
"Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality."
"You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough."
"He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants."
"Half of the people in the world are below average."
"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!"
"Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent."
"A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice."
"Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own."
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
"Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig."
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
"When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing".
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
It is a damned poor mind indeed that can't think of at least two ways of spelling any word.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back