Funny Quotes 2013: Funny Quotes From The Office

Funny Quotes From The Office Definition

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Jeff Foxworthy was born in 1958 in Georgia in the United States. This stand-up comedian and TV personality has released 6 comedy albums over the years. 1 of his albums included the novelty Christmas song “Redneck 12 Days of Christmas” which reached number 18 on the Hot Country Songs charts in late 1995 / early 1996. Jeff Foxworhty is the best-selling comedy recording artist of all time. He’s also a member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour (a comedy troupe which also comprises Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and Ron White). Jeff Foxworthy is famous for his “You Might be a Redneck” jokes and other Redneck humor. For those of you don’t know, a Redneck is a historically a derogatory slang term to refer to poor white Southern farmers in the United States (according to Wikipedia). “Redbeck” is also similar in meaning to “hillbilly” and “cracker”. I find Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be a Redneck” jokes hillarious. This post contains 30 of the best “You Might Be a Redbeck” Quotes from Jeff Foxworthy.
“If you’ve ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.”
“You may be a redneck if . . . your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.”
“If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.”
“You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the “Dirt for Sale” sign in the front yard.”
“You might be a redneck if …the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.”
“You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.”
“If you ever cut your grass and found a car, you might be a redneck”
“If you think the stock market has a fence around it, you might be a redneck”
“If your wife has ever said ‘Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.’, you might be a redneck”
“If your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat, you might be a redneck”
“If you’ve ever financed a tattoo, you might be a redneck”
“If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck”
“If you think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup, you might be a redneck”
“If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle, you might be a redneck”
“If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain, you might be a redneck”
“If your wife’s hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck”
“If you bought a VCR because wrestling comes on while you’re at work, you might be a redneck”
“If your dad walks you to school because you’re in the same grade, you might be a redneck”
“If your mother doesn’t remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck”
“If you only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup, you might be a redneck”
“If you think ‘loading the dishwasher’ means ‘getting your wife drunk’, you might be a redneck”
“If birds are attracted to your beard, you might be a redneck”
“If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog, you might be a redneck”
“If you think the French Riviera is foreign car, you might be a redneck”
“If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck”
“If you ever cut your grass and found a car, you might be a redneck”
“If you ever got too drunk to fish, you might be a redneck”
“If you stand under the misteletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Bobby-Sue Ellen to walk by, you might be a redneck”
“If you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader, you might be a redneck”
“If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck”
Time to chill with funny random cute quotes ...

To be free means to choose, whose slave you want to be. - Jeanne Moreau

In the city one lives for his amusement, in the country for the entertainment of others. -Wilde

Let's "Shut your mouth!" Play, you may begin. - unknown author

To wearing heavy makeup and too little for the women always a sign of desperation. - Wilde

No one is as good or as bad as it's made ??during his divorce. - Disenberg JJ

I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. -Woody Allen

Love at first sight: The most common eye disease. - Gino Cervi

Calories are tiny animals who sew the clothes overnight close. - unknown author

The cleverer give in - a sad truth: they founded the world domination of the stupid. - Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

For entertainment, a party bears no one in as much as those who are not there. - Audrey Hepburn

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. About the universe, I'm not quite sure. Albert Einstein

Who is sitting in the dark lights, is a dream. - Nelly Sachs

Dear God, we thank you for nothing, and we have all paid for itself! - Bart Simpson

Nobody is as uninteresting as a person without interest. -Sir Thomas Browne

There is only one problem that is more difficult than winning friends: you get rid of. - Mark Twain

Marriage is an attempt to deal with two of the problems that we alone would never have had. - Woody Allen

In his choice of parents can not be too careful. - Paul Watzlawick

If you want to drown in an unhappy love alcohol is foolish. Because alcohol preserved. - Max Dauthendey

I'm actually quite different - I'm only too rarely do so. - Odon von Horvath

All are equal. Only the salaries are different. - unknown author

Anyway, it's better to be a little square to be nothing than a round. - Friedrich Hebbel

Half the people want to lose weight, starving the other half. - unknown author

Man consists of two parts - his brain and his body. But the body has more fun. - Woody Allen

Oktoberfest: Eye for an Eye - pitcher to pitcher. - Werner Mitsch

What count sheep to fall asleep if they want? - unknown author

The man bears the date in the bones, the woman in the face. - unknown author

The youth of today loves luxury, have bad manners and contempt for authority. They contradict their parents, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

Yes, madam, I am drunk! Se but know wat? I'm sober tomorrow, but you will still be ugly!