Funny Quotes 2013: Funny Monday Quotes

Funny Monday Quotes Definition

Source(google.com.pk)
Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.
Dalai Lama
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
Marcus Aurelius
Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening.
Mahatma Gandhi
I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.
Benjamin Franklin
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
Mark Twain
Everyone has highs and lows that they have to learn from, but every morning I start off with a good head on my shoulders, saying to myself, 'It's going to be a good day!'.
Lindsay Lohan
I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.'
Demetri Martin
Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day, which must be done, whether you like it or not.
James Russell
Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have to get up in the morning and write something you love, something to live for.
Ray Bradbury
An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.
Henry David Thoreau
In the morning a man walks with his whole body; in the evening, only with his legs.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.
Dean Martin
Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night.
William Blake
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'
Will Rogers Be pleasant until ten o'clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.
Elbert Hubbard
Do not say, 'It is morning,' and dismiss it with a name of yesterday. See it for the first time as a newborn child that has no name.
Rabindranath Tagore
If you're bored with life - you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things - you don't have enough goals.
Lou Holtz
I miss Saturday morning, rolling out of bed, not shaving, getting into my car with my girls, driving to the supermarket, squeezing the fruit, getting my car washed, taking walks.
Barack Obama
I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.
J. B. Priestley
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
Steven Wright What the world really needs is more love and less paper work."
Pearl Bailey
‘I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.'
Dorothy Parker.
‘Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.’
Aristotle
‘If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?’
Anonymous
‘Love is like a river, always changing, but always finding you again somewhere down the road.’
Kelly Elaine
’Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.’
Hawkeye, M.A.S.H.
‘Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.’
Anon
“When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.”
Natalie Clifford Barney
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."
Rita Rudner’ Love is just a chocolate substitute.’
Melanie Clark
‘I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.’
Anonymous
‘We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.’
Tim McGraw
‘My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.’
Lee Iacocca
‘If you walk in front of me, I may not follow.
If you walk behind me, I may not lead.
If you walk beside me, I will be your friend.’
Albert Camus
‘You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.’
Chico Marx
"Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too."
Joyce Carol Oates
’A kiss is an application on the top floor a job in the basement.’
Unknown
‘Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.’
Anonymous
‘Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.’
Thomas Robert Dewar
'Women are cursed, and men are the proof.'
Rosanne Barr.
'Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.'
Mickey Rooney.
‘I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.’
Anonymous
‘Sales Ad at a Store: 'You are my one and only' valentine cards, now on sale: 4 for $5.’
Anonymous
’Falling in love is so hard on the knees.’
Aerosmith
‘Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter.’
Happy Valentines Day. (note to her gardener) Martha Stewart
‘A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years…’
Rupert Brooke
‘Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house.’
"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
David Viscott
“Love wouldn't be blind if the Braille weren't so damned much fun."
Unknown
“Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life”
Lord Byron
"I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart ! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself."
Robert Orben
‘It's not that I can't live without you...it's just that I don't even want to try.’
'Women with pasts interest men... they hope history will repeat itself.'
Mae West.
'Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.'
Groucho Marx.
"Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day."
Jay Len